My Best Life Decisions

Though I am not the most wisdomous (that’s not even a word, Katie), I do like to think I’ve had a few life experiences. And I’ve made a couple of decisions along the way! Here are the decisions I’m happiest with.

Writing a letter to my bullies

There were some people who were total bitches to me in high school.

Back in high school, I was really bad at standing up for myself (self-proclaimed doormat over here!) And when a group of six people (they know who they are) bullied me during my senior year, I kind of just let it happen. I was very unhappy the entire year, and I was just ready to leave high school and get to college.

While I never confronted them in person, I wrote down a hypothetical letter one day (because as we all know, I’m a writer. That’s how I best express myself.) The letter addressed these bullies, called them out on their bullshit and outlined how they hurt me that year.

Somehow, after graduation, I had the balls to text it to them. And it felt good. I know they got the letter because a few tried to write back to apologize. I blocked them.

That was probably my first step in standing up to myself. Advocating for myself has been a learning process, and I’m still on that journey.

Taking up pole dancing

With a background in dance, I jumped at an opportunity to take a pole dancing class while living in Japan. Never did I expect to love it so much. Now, it’s one of my favorite hobbies!

There are lots of reasons that I love pole dancing. It’s good exercise! You’re a badass! You can be all sexy! It’s acceptable to strip down to your underwear! It’s just so damn fun! You look cool! Everyone else in your social circle thinks you’re the shit!

Of course, I recognize that it is a frustrating and difficult sport. But there are plenty of strenuous hobbies! Many people have told me that they don’t want to try pole dancing because they ‘have no upper body strength’… or something to that effect. Good news for you, they won’t have you climbing and going upside down on your first class! Intro classes expect people to be terrible! I encourage you to try it—go outside of your comfort zone.

I also love that people of every shape and size pole dance! (and I’ve also taken pole classes with men! So guys, don’t worry.)

Going to India

Though this would shock people, I used to be petrified of traveling. Not sure why! I was an anxious kid, I guess. I’m not sure what changed my junior year of high school, but I signed up to volunteer in India. And damn, that was one of the coolest things I have ever done. India is beautiful and culturally rich and lively. There is so much history! Though the service period was only two weeks, it really shifted my mindset on world travel. And now look at me—can’t wait to move out of America again!

Learning how to talk to people

In high school … I was an awkward fuck.

And now, I can safely say that I’m a people person.

How did this change happen? Part of it was probably therapy (see below). And part of it was just a realization that … it’s good to be friendly and confident and gregarious sometimes. Maybe that’s not how everyone should be in social situations! But for me that’s what made me mesh well with a lot of people.

I remember the exact moment that I shifted my mindset. It was orientation for college, and we were all on break. People started flocking together in groups, chatting with each other. I had no one to talk to! I was kind of intimidated! And I saw a guy by himself, and I realized…damn, he’s probably nervous about intruding on these groups too.

I made the decision to go up to him and talk.

And we chatted for a while. It was easy. People like conversation. In my experience, people enjoy a friendly, bubbly spirit. And then, freshman year of college, I transformed into a way more sociable person. Talking to and joking with people became easy, second-nature.

I have come to really love and appreciate going out of my comfort zone. And this interaction, while small and simple, has stuck with me. These days, it’s not often I am intimidated by new situations or groups of people. And that’s something that makes me proud of myself, because I wasn’t always this way! I worked at it! And that’s pretty cool. (It especially makes me proud when people tell me that I’m easy to talk to. That is one of my favorite compliments (that, and being told that I’m funny. Take notes, people.)) Things like going to India, moving to Hong Kong, moving to Tulsa, studying in Japan, sleeping on the floor of a kitchen in Peru for two weeks, going to a salsa club…none of this is scary for me. And I think a lot of it has to do with a BIG change in my personality and mindset!

Going to therapy

Only, like, ten people outside of my family know that I went to therapy. I hate telling people this, because I worry that they will view me differently. Oh … is something wrong with Katie? Is she okay? What’s her problem? I wonder what she went to therapy for. This stigma is, of course, fucking stupid. I’m the greatest, coolest, funniest baddest bitch I know. So the fact that I went to therapy should not make people skeptical of me. But for most of my life, I conditioned myself to think that way. So, I never told people.

Turns out, a whole damn lot of people go to therapy, and you don’t even realize it!

It wasn’t exactly my choice to go to therapy as a thirteen-year-old, but due to some tumultuous family life, I was put in therapy anyways. And at first, I didn’t open up. No one had taught me how to open up about my feelings. But after years, eventually, therapy became something to look forward to.

I didn’t need therapy after a while, but I kept with it because I wanted to. My therapist was amazing, and it was just a chance for me to talk about whatever the hell I wanted for an hour. I would rant about something that bothered me or profess my hopes and dreams or stress about a boy or brag about my accomplishments. We just got to talk about me. There were times when I actually did need the therapy part of therapy again, i.e. when I was bullied in high school, or the transition into college. But ultimately, therapy taught me how to address my own feelings. It gave me a new perspective on my environment. It taught me how to handle difficult situations. It taught me how to work through conflict, how to better my relationships with others and myself. It helped me grow confidence and assuredness and dependability.

And now look at me! I’m fucking awesome!

And no there isn’t an answer to all these things. It just sort of … happened after so many years. I just learned more about myself.

I really encourage therapy. Maybe it isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay. And you would need a therapist that you really click with. But I think it was wonderful for me.

Going Vegan for 9 months in high school

People know that I am pescatarian (most people, I think). But I also was strictly vegan for 9 months when I was 17! That’s very scary to many. And whenever I tell this to people, the response I get 90% of the time is “Oh I could never do that because [reason].” Yeah, it’s damn hard! I was intimidated too!

But I did my research! A lot of it! I learned what foods to eat, what supplements to take. I found a bunch of vegan cooking recipes. I found vegan YouTubers! To this day, 20% of my YouTube watch history is vegan cooking videos (they relax me for some reason, I don’t know, man.)

So what’s the outtake for this?

1). Going vegan taught me how to cook for myself, because now my mother wasn’t cooking for me. That was my job.

2). I started to learn how to be healthy. I consider myself a healthy person (don’t get me wrong, I will eat a chocolate cake and cookies and ice cream, holy shit). Are all vegans healthy? Heeeellllll no. Can you be healthy without being a vegan? Abso-freakin-lutely. I’m not vegan now! Currently, I stray away from dairy and egg products, but I love seafood! And when I go out to eat, I get what I freakin’ want! But all this research into veganism got me interested in health and wellness. And now, I would say I am very well-versed on how to eat a healthy diet, and that’s quite important to me.

Teaching in Hong Kong

So, I’m not going to go into much detail here about Hong Kong, because I could write a literal five part series on why Hong Kong was so amazing and great for me and I love it and miss it and now I’m sad and nostalgic and want to cry.

There aren’t enough words for Hong Kong. But it is one of my best decisions, so I wanted to include it here.

The biggest takeaway is that…after being trapped in the pandemic, Hong Kong reminded me that I need to prioritize travel and living abroad in my life. It reminded me that I cherish and value these things for my life. It reminded me that I shouldn’t settle for less than a beautiful, exciting, adventurous life.

*mic drop*