Story from a unique POV

4.11.2024

I live in my small plastic casing, which is just barely large enough to hold me. I’ve resided here almost my entire life, occasionally transported to and fro. But all has remained calm and quiet for a few months. My neighbors have left, one by one. I patiently await my turn, but there is no telling exactly when it will come.

The man is a bachelor. I know this because all of his various guests have had different voices (or perhaps he has a partner and is just a voracious cheater!) Despite their unique timbres, the women’s voices all take a similar tone once things start to get hot. And all the women typically say the same things:

“Oh, yes.” “Fuck, that feels so good.” “Keep going, baby.” … And the likes.

Of course, I cannot see these women for myself, I merely listen to their sounds, their moans, their conversations and wonder which of my neighbors will be chosen today.

Here is what I know about the man, based on my own observations of his conversations with the women.

1. He has nice eyes.

2. He is charming (this claim comes from the women - I for one have no basis as to what constitutes as charming.)

3. He is not great at opening bottles of wine.

4. He practices safe sex (obviously).

6. He lies a lot (“I really think this could turn into something serious.” “I feel such a strong connection with you.” “I want this to go somewhere.” “I care about you.”)

7. He has a massive penis (but perhaps the women just say this in the heat of the moment? I will find out eventually and provide updates.)

8. The average amount of time it takes him to finish is 3 minutes and 41 seconds.

There are other nuggets I’ve picked up about his life, but the rest are not very relevant to me.

***

My day finally comes. It starts off like any other; I hear the man’s alarm, followed by his usual grumbling. The sound of the coffee machine, the flush of the toilet, the buzz of the electric razor. His departure each morning is always marked with the SLAM of the door and the click of the key turning in the lock.

And then, silence. The mundaneness of the day is broken up with sporadic sounds. 

Whirrrrr - the neighbor’s lawn mower outside.

Arf, raar, raar, arf - two dogs outside having a row.

Eek, squeak, squeak - the mouse in the walls (unbeknownst to the man).

Otherwise, there is nothing to do but wait in the darkness of my home. 

And then, I hear the door open. The man is back, and - what’s that? The voice of a woman! (Another new woman at that … geez, this guy is a real slut).

Once we realize that there is a woman with him, my neighbors and I all take a collective inhale. One of us will be chosen today! I can almost feel the tension building in our box.

“This is a nice place,” says the woman (they all say this.)

The man replies in his usual way: “Yeah, I’m pretty comfortable here. I hope you don’t mind the mess.”

“What mess? Hahahah.” This woman’s voice is quite annoying. Her laugh sounds like a clown horn. Part of me almost doesn’t want to be chosen today. If her voice is this aggravating, it’s only safe to assume she is also extremely ugly. Of course, I have no basis for what constitutes beauty.  

They chat more (I will spare you the painful first-date details), until the man drops another classic line that I’ve heard a dozen times before. “Actually, I was thinking we could watch a movie or something - but my TV is in the bedroom if that’s alright.”

“That sounds great actually,” the annoying-sounding woman replies.

They shuffle closer to me, and I hear the blankets being tossed around as the man and the annoying-sounding woman get into the bed.

The movie begins to play. They only watch 8 minutes and 25 seconds of the movie before they start making out. I’ve always hated the sounds of kissing - it’s so squishy and sloshy and suctiony. 

Before long, I hear clothes being taken off. I hear the tell-tale groans, the Ooos and the Fucks  - these sounds usually come from the women. The man is largely silent. Listening to all the different women these past few months, I’ve become quite an expert in spotting the overdramatic, overly exaggerated porn star-eque sounds. Most of the time, I presume the women are faking it - or embellishing at the very least.

As things continue to heat up, the woman says, “Do you have a condom?”

The man replies, “Yeah, of course. One sec.”

My neighbors and I cheer. Whose turn is it?

The box is ripped open and I am extracted - it’s my day! I will finally fulfill my life’s purpose!

My plastic encasing is ripped. Though the room itself is pretty dark, it still gives me a shock, as I have not seen the outside world since I was created. It takes me a split second to adjust, and in that time, the man fumbles with me. While he does this, a few things register:

1. His room is very messy.

2. The woman is not as annoying looking as she is annoying sounding. 

3. The man’s appearance is very plain.

4. Despite what women have told him, he does not in fact have a massive penis. Just under 5 inches.

The man finally manages to slide me on. It’s both painful and relieving – getting such a biiiiiiig stretch after being rolled up for so long.

And then, well, you know. The man goes back to the possibly annoying woman, and I am in darkness again. They both make an Ooooo noise as I go inside (the woman is definitely embellishing her moans.)

At first, it’s kind of comfortable. Like being embraced in a warm hug. 

And then, the man starts to move. Slowly, at first, but then I am slammed in and out quite rapidly, almost violently. I start to feel almost motion sick! With the quick movements plus the strobing of light to dark as I go out and back in, it’s rather dizzying. I want to tell the man to hurry up, but, of course, I can do no such thing.

Thwack, thwack, thwack, thwack, thwack.

“Oh, yeah, keep going, oh you feel so good inside me, oh god.”

…. ~grunt~

And then, after exactly 3 minutes and 58 seconds (longer than his average time! Good job, man), the explosion happens. The man goes “uuuuggggghhhgh”, and … I feel it.

It’s actually pretty fucking gross, having the explosion happen all inside me, all over me. It’s sticky and warm and weird.

But as quickly as it happens, the man sloppily takes me off of him, and I am discarded in a nearby waste basket, still feeling quite defiled.

I sit in the bin, listening to their pillow talk.

“That was so great.”

“Yeah, I agree.”

… awkward silence… (It goes on so long that I am starting to get second-hand embarrassment, despite being the one covered in jizz.)

“I’d love to do this again sometime,” says the woman. “I really like you.”

“Oh yeah, yeah, me too. You’re great. I feel such a connection with us,” says the man. “But actually, I gotta wake up early tomorrow. Why don’t I go grab your clothes and coat.”